Mondays with Elisabeth: Suffering in Marriage

This is truly a “MUST READ”! So sorry I didn’t notice this article in February… just something I thought we could all use today for prayer and reflection. As I missed last weeks Mondays with Elisabeth, I thought that this was something that our beloved Elisabeth Leseur would also share in her writings. Considering the time she lived and the lack of faith and understanding that she was surrounded within her own life. I think we can all relate for sure…
By the way if you have anything to share concerning Mondays with Elisabeth Leseur, please feel free to send it to tgarcia(at)hannahstears(dot)org and we’ll share it next time.

OLFF Maine: Suffering in Marriage: An Opportunity: “Today’s culture runs away from suffering, marriage, commitment, children and any other attachment that might come with inconvenience, self-sacrifice or discomfort.

Our Adoption Story

Our story begins like so many others.  We met, fell in love, married.  Then we assumed we would start a family and live happily ever after.  It was the starting a family part that proved to be a bump in the road.  
After struggling with infertility, our thoughts turned to adoption.  One day as I was pleading for Mary’s intercession to “fix” our problem, I realized that I had stopped praying to be pregnant, but started praying to be a mom.  
Soon after I was reading our local paper I came across a small ad for an adoption seminar to be held in our area.  My husband and I had not discussed adoption at all at that point, but for some reason my attention was like a laser to that ad.  I tentatively asked my husband if he was interested in attending.  I knew right away if we went to this meeting it was going to be something I wanted to pursue.  I didn’t want to go, be encouraged and excited, only to have him say that he wasn’t ready to pursue this avenue.  Thankfully, he was on board right from the get go.
For a variety of reasons we felt God was calling us to pursue the International Adoption route, specifically to Russia.   We went to that initial seminar in February of 2001, our son Jacob was home, finally making us a mom and dad, in September 2001.  While we were waiting for Jacob to join our family, as difficult as the waiting was, I felt a profound peace that Mary was holding him close until we could get there.
We started the Russian process again and Jonah followed in early 2004. Sarah joined our family from S. Korea in the summer of 2005 (her adoption took only four months!), and Leah, also from S. Korea, made us a family of six in 2006.  For a while we thought our family was complete.  We were busy raising four children five and under.  We enjoyed it, but we were busy!  Our family was complete for a while anyway.


We started feeling God tug on us again in March of 2009.  This time we adopted two children from an island in the Caribbean called St. Vincent and the Grenadines.  Anna was five years old and Levi was two, when they joined our family in December of 2009.
I know often the fear of adoption is that it is a second best choice to having a biological child.  Like any other family we have our ups and downs, our disappointments and successes.  But biology or not, we are a family.   
I’m sure it’s the Grace of God, but I have never wished I would have experienced pregnancy, I don’t wonder what my biological children might have looked like or how they might have behaved.  I truly know that the children God has placed in our home through adoption, are the children that we were always meant to have.  I’m so thankful that we let go of the vision we had for our family and embraced God’s plan for our family.
Parenting is tough.  Parenting adopted children can sometimes have an added layer of issues, however, even on the most challenging days we wouldn’t trade it for a moment.  
Once upon a time I thought I might never hear another person call me “mom”.  But, through the amazing gift of adoption, I have the profound pleasure of hearing that word from six amazing children.
Jen blogs about faith, family, home education and adoption at Forever, For Always, No Matter What

Mondays with Elisabeth

While reading Elisabeth’s journal you will find  a prayer that she wrote for the virtue of hope.  Something that we all need to hold on to in our daily lives, if you take time each day to truly see that God Our Father has truly given us many gifts to get us through our challenges each and every day, we just need to ask for them!





“Prayer to Ask of God the Virtue of Hope”

My God, who has allowed us human hope,
but who alone obtains Christian and 
supernatural hope, grant, I beseech You, by 
Your grace, this virtue to my soul, to the souls 
of all I love, and to all Christian souls.  Let it 
enlighten and transform our lives, our suffering, and 
even our death, and let it uphold in us, through
the disappointment and sadness of each day, an
inner strength and unalterable serenity.

~ Elisabeth Leseur ~ 
(revised)

In Memory of Our Lady Mother of Divine Grace



Our Lady, Mother of Divine Grace 

OCD: Memorial

‘The Blessed Virgin Mary was eternally predestined, in the context of the Incarnation of the divine Word, to be the Mother of God. As decreed by divine Providence, she served on earth as the loving Mother of the divine Redeemer, His associate, uniquely generous, and       the Lord’s humble servant.  She conceived, bore, and nourished Christ; presented Him to the Father in the Temple; and was united with Him in His suffering as He died on the cross.  In a completely unparalleled way she cooperated, by her obedience, faith, hope  and burning charity, with our Savior’s work of restoring supernatural life to souls. For this reason she is Mother to us all in the order of grace’ (Lumen Gentium, the Constitution on the Church, 61).



From the homily of St. Cyril of Alexandria preached at the Council of Ephesus

Hail Mary, Mother of God, august treasury of the whole world, unquenchable torch, crown of virginity, scepter of orthodoxy, temple indestructible, and place of the uncontainable,   mother and virgin. Through you is named blessed in the holy gospel He who comes in the name of the Lord.  Hail Mary! You contained the uncontainable in your holy virginal womb. Through you the Trinity is glorified; through you is the cross named precious, and adored throughout the whole world; through you heaven exults; through you angels and archangels rejoice; through you demons are put to flight; through you the devil, the tempter, fell from heaven; through you the fallen creature is taken up to heaven; through you the whole created world, gripped in the madness of idolatry, come to a recognition of the truth; through you comes about holy baptism for believers; through you the oil of gladness; through you churches have been founded through the whole world; through you nations are led to repentance.

What need is there to speak at length? Through you the only Son of God shone His light for those who sat in darkness and in the shadow of death; through you prophets foretold what was to come; through you apostles preach salvation to the nations; through you the dead are raised to life; through you kings reign, through the Holy Trinity.

What man can sing adequately the praise of Mary? She is both virgin and mother! The wonder astounds me. Shall the Builder be forbidden to inhabit the temple He has built?  Shall He be despised who chose His handmaid for His mother?

See then, all things rejoice. May it be ours to fear and bow before the unity of the Trinity, to worship and tremble in awe before the indivisible Trinity, as we sing praises of the ever-virgin Mary, that is the holy Church, and of her Son and immaculate spouse; for to Him is glory for ever and ever. Amen.



Prayer
God of eternal wisdom, in Your providence You willed that the Blessed Virgin Mary should bring forth the Author of Grace, and take part with Him in the mystery of man’s redemption. May she obtain for us grace in abundance and bring us to the haven of everlasting salvation. We ask this through our Lord Jesus Christ, Your Son, Who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever.  Amen

Suffering for What?

Here goes nothing…well, I was going to pour out my soul but obviously I wasn’t meant to as my computer froze and I lost my posting.  So, I will say that through these last 3 1/2 years I have never actually shared who I am because this Ministry is more about the one seeking comfort not about who I am and what I have suffered.  I will tell you that we all have our fair share of suffering and the only way to survive is through the gift of HOLY ACCEPTANCE.  I do believe that the chaplet of Hannah’s Tears is a great prayer to work towards this gift of acceptance as well as adoration of the Blessed Sacrament and just the quiet reflection you get when taking care of your Domestic Church (your home).
 
Show me oh Lord  how to accept!  Below is a teaching about redemptive suffering I found from www.thedefender.org, hope it will be a blessing to you.  

 

Redemptive Suffering

A Summary:Redemptive suffering is the belief that human suffering, when accepted and offered up in union with the Passion of Jesus, can remit the just punishment for one’s sins or for the sins of another. Like an indulgence, redemptive suffering does not gain the individual forgiveness for their sin; forgiveness results from God’s grace, freely given through Christ, which cannot be earned. After one’s sins are forgiven, the individual’s suffering can reduce the penalty due for sin. 

 

 

We believe God loves mankind so much that He made Himself human in Jesus in order to redeem mankind. “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (Jn 3:16) 

 

We believe our suffering can be united to that of Christ and so in union with His Passion. “As they were going out, they met a Cyrenian named Simon; this man they pressed into service to carry his cross.” (Matthew 27:32) 

 

Why Suffering: (1) Everyone asks the question (in some form or another), Why suffering? Each religion has a different answer. In Hinduism, suffering is seen as the result of karmic debt owed from a prior incarnation. Buddhists believe they suffer in life because of their desires that can be relieved by good meditation and prayers. In Judaism, suffering is seen as everything from senseless to positively willed by God as a result of Jewish disobedience. In Islam, suffering is seen as the result of Allah’s positive will. For some brands of Protestantism, suffering is always the result of personal sin. 

 

Every human being undergoes pain, and we all want it to have meaning (and so not despair). Amidst this, always remember: there are two kinds of suffering-redemptive suffering and wasted suffering…Which one will you choose? 

 

The Catechism of the Catholic Church encourages and reminds us of our vocation: “By His passion and death on the Cross Christ has given a new meaning to suffering: it can henceforth configure us to Him and unite us with His redemptive passion” (#1505). 

 

The Value and Meaning of Redemptive Suffering: (1)Redemptive suffering is any trial or tribulation (physical or mental) we offer up and UNITE to Jesus- as a “gift” to Him to express our love thru a costly way, in exchange for some other good. Notice the key elements: we consciously choose embrace suffering; it is precious (a “gift”) because it is painful (not fun or “easy”); it brings us closer to Jesus in an intimate and intense way; and the suffering may “spiritually repair” my own soul or others-and thereby help in the work of redemption (Christ’s allowing me to help Him save souls). 

 

Other names/descriptions of this phenomenon include: vicarious atonement (Jesus, Who alone can atone the sins of the world, chooses others to “vicariously assist Him” and thereby weave more people into the plan of salvation; victim souls (a person whose primary call as a disciple in life is to especially suffer for the saving of other souls); and co-redemption. 

 

Ask yourself these questions: How can I intensely merge my sufferings with Christ (i.e., more deeply)? How can I more readily blend my trials with Him (i.e. not hesitating in offering suffering to Him)? How can I consistently entwine my difficulties with Him (less sporadically)? 

 

The Bible and Suffering:There are many versus in the Bible referring to redemptive suffering. The following verses are a few of those most quoted: “Whoever follows me must take up his cross…” (Mt 10: 38). 

 

“So they departed from the presence of the Sanhedrin, rejoicing that they had been counted worthy to suffer disgrace for the name of Jesus.” (Acts 5:41) ” 

 

“Therefore we are not discouraged, rather, although our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this momentary light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison. (II Cor 4: 16). ” 

 

“With Christ I am nailed to the cross. It is now no longer I that live but Christ Who lives in me” (Gal 2:19-20). 

 

“Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, for I fill up what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ.” (Col:24). 

 

“This indeed is a grace, if for consciousness of God anyone endures sorrows, suffering. unjustly.” (I Pt 2: 19). 

 

“For the Spirit Himself gives testimony to our spirit that we are the sons of God. And if sons, heirs also; heirs indeed of God and joint heirs with Christ: yet so, if we suffer with Him, that we may be also glorified with Him. The sufferings of this time are not worthy to be compared with the glory to come that shall be revealed in us.” (Rm 8:16-18) 

 

“What we suffer at this present time cannot be compared at all with the glory that is going to be revealed in us…We know that all things work for good for those who love God…For I am convinced that neither life nor death…nor future things, nor powers nor any other creature can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus” (Rm 8:18, 28,38). 

 

Offering it Up: (2)Offering it Up (or “Making a Good Intention”) is done in both formal and informal ways. 

 

Formally, many Catholics make the Morning Offering to give to Our Lord that day’s efforts, works, joys, sufferings, and intentions. At the Mass, we consciously, silently, and privately offer ourselves up, along with the Son, to the Father during the Offertory. 

 

Informally, we “offer it up” by simply asking God in our own words to use a suffering as it occurs; we often do this for specific intentions (ex., “Use this pain, Lord, for the salvation of my brother…”). We might follow the example of the young St. Thérèse of Lisieux and make use of Sacrifice Beads, or the extraordinary among us might make the Heroic Act of Charity for the souls in Purgatory. 

 

It’s quite a discipline to react to suffering this way! In mental or physical pain? Drop something on your toe? Putting up with a co-worker who is making your life a living Hell? Enduring the constant ache of arthritis? Standing in line at the grocery and hating every minute of it? Spill the milk? Accept these things in peace, and ask God to use them for the good of the Church or for a more specific intention close to your heart. 

 

You’ll find that it is not uncommon to hear one Catholic tell another who is suffering to “offer it up” as a way of dealing with his suffering. It should be remembered, though, that while it is most definitely good to tell someone to “offer it up,” it is also easy — and that we are called, too, to comfort those who are suffering, to feed the hungry, to give drink to the thirsty, to care for the sick, etc. Telling someone to offer it up without also helping him to deal with the temporal and emotional effects of whatever he is going through is not the fully Christian response. Even Our Lord was helped while carrying His Cross: St. Veronica wiped the sweat and Blood from His Holy Face, and St. Simon of Cyrene helped Him bear the Cross itself. 

 

And always help the suffering to retain (or regain) hope that his suffering is not in vain. Assure him that he will partake of “the consolation”: 

 

The Ultimate in “Offering it up”: Victim Souls (2)A victim soul is someone who has been chosen by God to participate in Christ’s Passion in a very special way by manifesting the signs of His sufferings, often in their very own bodies. Suffering for the sake of love is their vocation, and such suffering is willingly accepted for the benefit of the Church. The attitude and plea of the victim soul is summed up by this prayer of St. Catherine of Siena, “The only cause of my death is my zeal for the Church of God, which devours and consumes me. Accept, O Lord, the sacrifice of my life for the Mystical Body of Thy holy Church. “ 

 

St. Lydwine of Schiedam, the Venerable Anne Catherine Emmerich, and St. Pio of Pietrelcina (Padre Pio) were three other such souls, and there have been many more. Often, but not necessarily, these souls receive the stigmata on the palms of their hands or on their feet, the wounds left by the crown of thorns, wounds in their sides as if made by a lance, stripes on their bodies as if caused by scourging, and other bodily phenomena that recall His Passion. 

 

In conclusion:“It is in suffering that we are withdrawn from the bright superficial film of existence, from the sway of time and mere things and find ourselves in the presence of profounder truth.” + Fr. Yves Conger, French priest-theologian. 

 

Jim Fritz 

 

Notes:(1) Why Do People Suffer? 

 

Saint Hannah’s ~ Prayer for a Son


Hannah prayed for a child at the foot of the altar, and G-d heard the cry of her heart, sending her a son (Samuel) who would become a Jewish high-priest… Let us also remember our beloved priests today; knowing that one day we may have a son at the altar offering sacrifice for you and me.  

Thursdays are a day to remember our priests, I bet we could make a habit of this don’t you agree?









Prayer for Priests
by St. Therese of Lisieux


O Jesus, eternal Priest, 
keep your priests within 
the shelter of Your Sacred Heart, 
where none may touch them. 

Keep unstained their anointed hands, 
which daily touch Your Sacred Body. 

Keep unsullied their lips, 
daily purpled with your Precious Blood. 

Keep pure and unearthly their hearts, 
sealed with the sublime mark of the priesthood. 

Let Your holy love surround them and 
shield them from the world’s contagion. 

Bless their labors with abundant fruit and 
may the souls to whom they minister be their 
joy and consolation here and in heaven their 
beautiful and everlasting crown. 
Amen.

The Sacrament of Marriage

PART TWO
THE CELEBRATION OF THE CHRISTIAN MYSTERY

SECTION TWO
THE SEVEN SACRAMENTS OF THE CHURCH
CHAPTER THREE
THE SACRAMENTS AT THE SERVICE OF COMMUNION

ARTICLE 7
THE SACRAMENT OF MATRIMONY
1601 “The matrimonial covenant, by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life, is by its nature ordered toward the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring; this covenant between baptized persons has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament.”84

I. MARRIAGE IN GOD’S PLAN
1602 Sacred Scripture begins with the creation of man and woman in the image and likeness of God and concludes with a vision of “the wedding-feast of the Lamb.”85 Scripture speaks throughout of marriage and its “mystery,” its institution and the meaning God has given it, its origin and its end, its various realizations throughout the history of salvation, the difficulties arising from sin and its renewal “in the Lord” in the New Covenant of Christ and the Church.86



Patron Saints – Fertility, Pregnancy, Loss

Here’s a list of patrons for those seeking this information.


patrons of pregnant women

patrons of babies

Wordless Wednesday (with some words)

“I know by experience that in hours of trial certain graces are obtained for others that all our efforts had not previously obtained. I have thus concluded that suffering is the higher form of action, the best expression in the wonderful communion of saints. . .Through it God consents to accomplish everything. Suffering helps Christ to save the world and souls. When I am overwhelmed by the immensity of my desires for those I love, . .it is toward suffering that I turn. It is through suffering that I ask to be allowed to serve as an intermediary between God and souls. It is the perfect form of prayer, the only infallible form of action. “

~Servant of God Elizabeth Leseur