Sin and Suffering and Finding Peace

I can remember looking at my newborn son in the NICU, his little body pierced by tubes and needles, connected to his life support system, and thinking, “Thomas, you are suffering because of sin.” A day later, I knew sin had caused his death.

My baby didn’t die as a result of a sinful act. He wasn’t the victim of violence or evil. He died a natural death caused by a health problem: Thomas was born with lungs too small for independent breathing and so he could never have lived. So why did I think my son died because of sin?

As I watched Thomas’ chest inflating and deflating, a machine taking the place of his inadequate lungs, I thought about what should have been, what would have been… if sin had not entered the world and upset the balance of nature. There would have been no disease, no pain, no newborn babies fighting for their lives, no mothers sorrowing, no tears, no death.

But there is sin and Thomas did die and I suffered.

I have always been a reader and I searched for books to help me cope with my sorrow. But in those early weeks of grief, I found it difficult to concentrate. Every time I opened a book and started to read, my mind almost instantly drifted away. The words were just a blur on the page. And then one day I picked up a book called Looking for Peace? Try Confession by Mary Ann Budnik. From the very first page, the words grabbed my attention.

A book on confession? I would never have imagined such a book could have helped me, a bereaved parent. But it did.

It’s been 12 years since I read that book and so the details have faded. But I do remember how engaging and easy the book was to read, and how it re-ignited that dying spark: my interest in life. Perhaps the book made me realise that the problem of evil in the world can only be put right by each and every one of us taking responsibility for our own sin.

I thought about Thomas dying in a world upset by sin and Jesus dying on the cross because of sin… and I didn’t want to sin. I also didn’t want to suffer but I realised that I was able to offer my sufferings to God, and this gave them value and helped me bear them. I knew I could unite my sufferings with those of Jesus to atone for sin.

Looking for Peace? Yes, I wanted to find peace.

I still struggle with sin. I know it will be a lifetime battle. But I did find peace. I found it in an unexpected place. I found peace in the confessional, in the sacrament of reconciliation.

Please visit my blog Sue Elvis Writes to share more of my grief posts

Feast of the Annunciation

 

Dear Little hearts,

Today is the transferred feast of the Annunciation. A Happy Feast to you all.

The readings for the feast of the Annunciation, known in England in times past as the, “Salutation” are in our Sunday Missal, so today we will look , with Mary at the WORD.

Mary lived ‘Lectio Divine‘ she pondered on God’s Word as no other has ever done, He was her total love, her total focus… her will was in perfect harmony with Gods, her will merged into His, and so there by making her life fruitful in abundance.                                               

In today’s readings we can see how much God desires the gift, the offering, the surrender of our will , our free will to Him, thus choosing HIM above all other things.

God does not want, external worship without the involving of the heart, he’s not interested in sacrifices that are to placate Him or merely trying to win his approval, he wants our hearts, our wills to be HIS.

And in today’s readings we see this shining through all the readings.

Choose a line from todays readings and  really ponder upon it, dwell upon it, absorb it for the essence of our  Christian life is here… to respond to His Sweet will and surrender ours to HIS, this in itself is an act of supreme trust in our Beloved.

The entrance antiphon sets the whole tone , it is taken from the letter to the Hebrews.

 

“The Lord said as he entered the world: Behold O Lord I come to do your will“     ….. IN HIS WILL IS OUR PEACE!.

(Below are the readings from Our Sunday Missal)

First reading

Isaiah 7:10-14,8:10 ©

The Lord spoke to Ahaz and said, ‘Ask the Lord your God for a sign for yourself coming either from the depths of Sheol or from the heights above.’ ‘No,’ Ahaz answered ‘I will not put the Lord to the test.’

Then he said:

Listen now, House of David:

are you not satisfied with trying the patience of men

without trying the patience of my God, too?

The Lord himself, therefore,

will give you a sign.

It is this: the maiden is with child

and will soon give birth to a son

whom she will call Immanuel,

a name which means ‘God is with us.’


Psalm

Psalm 39:7-11 ©

Here I am, Lord! I come to do your will.

You do not ask for sacrifice and offerings,

but an open ear.

You do not ask for holocaust and victim.

Instead, here am I.

Here I am, Lord! I come to do your will.

In the scroll of the book it stands written

that I should do your will.

My God, I delight in your law

in the depth of my heart.

Here I am, Lord! I come to do your will.

Your justice I have proclaimed

in the great assembly.

My lips I have not sealed;

you know it, O Lord.

Here I am, Lord! I come to do your will.

I have not hidden your justice in my heart

but declared your faithful help.

I have not hidden your love and your truth

from the great assembly.

Here I am, Lord! I come to do your will.


Second reading

Hebrews 10:4-10 ©

Bulls’ blood and goats’ blood are useless for taking away sins, and this is what Christ said, on coming into the world:

You who wanted no sacrifice or oblation,

prepared a body for me.

You took no pleasure in holocausts or sacrifices for sin;

then I said,

just as I was commanded in the scroll of the book,

‘God, here I am! I am coming to obey your will.’

Notice that he says first: You did not want what the Law lays down as the things to be offered, that is: the sacrifices, the oblations, the holocausts and the sacrifices for sin, and you took no pleasure in them; and then he says: Here I am! I am coming to obey your will. He is abolishing the first sort to replace it with the second. And this will was for us to be made holy by the offering of his body made once and for all by Jesus Christ.


Gospel Acclamation

Jn1:14

Praise to you, O Christ, king of eternal glory!

The Word became flesh,

he lived among us,

and we saw his glory.

Praise to you, O Christ, king of eternal glory!


Gospel

Luke 1:26-38 ©

The angel Gabriel was sent by God to a town in Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man named Joseph, of the House of David; and the virgin’s name was Mary. He went in and said to her, ‘Rejoice, so highly favored! The Lord is with you.’ She was deeply disturbed by these words and asked herself what this greeting could mean, but the angel said to her, ‘Mary, do not be afraid; you have won God’s favor. Listen! You are to conceive and bear a son, and you must name him Jesus. He will be great and will be called Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his ancestor David; he will rule over the House of Jacob for ever and his reign will have no end.’ Mary said to the angel, ‘But how can this come about, since I am a virgin?’ ‘The Holy Spirit will come upon you’ the angel answered ‘and the power of the Most High will cover you with its shadow. And so the child will be holy and will be called Son of God. Know this too: your kinswoman Elizabeth has, in her old age, herself conceived a son, and she whom people called barren is now in her sixth month, for nothing is impossible to God’ ‘I am the handmaid of the Lord,’ said Mary ‘let what you have said be done to me.’ And the angel left her.

 Poor Clare Colettines, TMD.

Jesus desires to Raise us up…

Happy 5th Sunday of Lent, we have almost made it, the feast of the Resurrection is almost here, don’t give up, we’re all in this together, right?  Today at a local parish we celebrated the third Scrutiny since we are having converts coming into the Church for Easter.  Something, gave me the desire to write this passage down; as I find it so important to remember in myself that we are all trying to find the glory of God in the midst of our trials and sufferings.  This is where we need to place our complete trust in the one who created us, for his purpose and not our own.  I sometimes try to figure this out myself, but it is like a dog chasing its tail, I must trust and that is it.  Kind of like a little child trusting the parent that says, “No, you must be patient and wait”, and so it goes…

 

John 11:1-45

The Message (MSG)

John 11

The Death of Lazarus

 

1-3A man was sick, Lazarus of Bethany, the town of Mary and her sister Martha. This was the same Mary who massaged the Lord’s feet with aromatic oils and then wiped them with her hair. It was her brother Lazarus who was sick. So the sisters sent word to Jesus, “Master, the one you love so very much is sick.”

4When Jesus got the message, he said, “This sickness is not fatal. It will become an occasion to show God’s glory by glorifying God’s Son.”

5-7Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus, but oddly, when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed on where he was for two more days. After the two days, he said to his disciples, “Let’s go back to Judea.”

8They said, “Rabbi, you can’t do that. The Jews are out to kill you, and you’re going back?”

9-10Jesus replied, “Are there not twelve hours of daylight? Anyone who walks in daylight doesn’t stumble because there’s plenty of light from the sun. Walking at night, he might very well stumble because he can’t see where he’s going.”

11He said these things, and then announced, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep. I’m going to wake him up.”

12-13The disciples said, “Master, if he’s gone to sleep, he’ll get a good rest and wake up feeling fine.” Jesus was talking about death, while his disciples thought he was talking about taking a nap.

14-15Then Jesus became explicit: “Lazarus died. And I am glad for your sakes that I wasn’t there. You’re about to be given new grounds for believing. Now let’s go to him.”

 

Go to – http://www.comeandseeicons.com/icxc/cst03.jpg and reflect over this icon image of  The Resurrection of Lazarus

 

 

16That’s when Thomas, the one called the Twin, said to his companions, “Come along. We might as well die with him.”

17-20When Jesus finally got there, he found Lazarus already four days dead. Bethany was near Jerusalem, only a couple of miles away, and many of the Jews were visiting Martha and Mary, sympathizing with them over their brother. Martha heard Jesus was coming and went out to meet him. Mary remained in the house.

21-22Martha said, “Master, if you’d been here, my brother wouldn’t have died. Even now, I know that whatever you ask God he will give you.”

23Jesus said, “Your brother will be raised up.”

24Martha replied, “I know that he will be raised up in the resurrection at the end of time.”

25-26“You don’t have to wait for the End. I am, right now, Resurrection and Life. The one who believes in me, even though he or she dies, will live. And everyone who lives believing in me does not ultimately die at all. Do you believe this?”

27“Yes, Master. All along I have believed that you are the Messiah, the Son of God who comes into the world.”

28After saying this, she went to her sister Mary and whispered in her ear, “The Teacher is here and is asking for you.”

29-32The moment she heard that, she jumped up and ran out to him. Jesus had not yet entered the town but was still at the place where Martha had met him. When her sympathizing Jewish friends saw Mary run off, they followed her, thinking she was on her way to the tomb to weep there. Mary came to where Jesus was waiting and fell at his feet, saying, “Master, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

33-34When Jesus saw her sobbing and the Jews with her sobbing, a deep anger welled up within him. He said, “Where did you put him?”

34-35“Master, come and see,” they said. Now Jesus wept.

36The Jews said, “Look how deeply he loved him.”

37Others among them said, “Well, if he loved him so much, why didn’t he do something to keep him from dying? After all, he opened the eyes of a blind man.”

38-39Then Jesus, the anger again welling up within him, arrived at the tomb. It was a simple cave in the hillside with a slab of stone laid against it. Jesus said, “Remove the stone.”

The sister of the dead man, Martha, said, “Master, by this time there’s a stench. He’s been dead four days!”

40Jesus looked her in the eye. “Didn’t I tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?”

41-42Then, to the others, “Go ahead, take away the stone.”

They removed the stone. Jesus raised his eyes to heaven and prayed, “Father, I’m grateful that you have listened to me. I know you always do listen, but on account of this crowd standing here I’ve spoken so that they might believe that you sent me.”

43-44Then he shouted, “Lazarus, come out!” And he came out, a cadaver, wrapped from head to toe, and with a kerchief over his face.

Jesus told them, “Unwrap him and let him loose.”

The Man Who Creates God-Signs

45-48That was a turnaround for many of the Jews who were with Mary. They saw what Jesus did, and believed in him. But some went back to the Pharisees and told on Jesus. The high priests and Pharisees called a meeting of the Jewish ruling body. “What do we do now?” they asked. “This man keeps on doing things, creating God-signs. If we let him go on, pretty soon everyone will be believing in him and the Romans will come and remove what little power and privilege we still have.”

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John%2011:1-45&version=MSG

For further reflection: 

Go to http://www.ewtn.com/vondemand/audio/seriessearchprog.asp?seriesID=7076&T1=

In this study, we shall examine Jesus’ statement that He is the Good Shepherd, as Jesus gives seven “ I AM” statements in this Gospel, which are a key theme for understanding who Jesus is and what His mission is all about. The raising of Lazarus from the dead is the most powerful sign performed in Jesus’ ministry, anticipating Jesus’ own resurrection and the final resurrection of the dead. The story relates the challenge of having a radical faith in Jesus, seen through the reactions of Martha and Mary. Here we will explore the important theme of faith.

Fertility Care

Have you heard of the Pope Paul VI Institute? Dr. Thomas Hilgers is the founder and has a fertility care program called the Creighton Method of Natural Family Planning. This method of fertility health care has helped many couples when they thought all was impossible. Please check out their web site:

Pope Paul VI Institute
http://www.popepaulvi.com/

Welcome to the Home of
FertilityCare and NaProTechnology!

The Pope Paul VI Institute, founded in 1985 by Thomas W. Hilgers, MD, is internationally recognized for its outstanding achievements in the field of natural fertility regulation and reproductive medicine — 30 years of scientific research and educational program development; allied health professional education programs for couples and professionals; professional, caring, and morally acceptable patient services. The Pope Paul VI Institute for the Study of Human Reproduction is building a culture of life in women’s health care through its major developments — Creighton Model FertilityCare System and NaProTechnology.

Be sure to check out The NaProTechnology Revolution to find out more about the impact of the newest women’s health science. Newly added to the site is a PDF download of the Introduction from the book for you to read. NaProTechnology…what every woman has a right to know about her body…her health…her future!

Finding Meaning in a Baby’s Death

When I was a newly bereaved parent I went along to a grief support group. Every month a few mothers would gather and we’d share our stories and our pain. Every month we talked about the same things. We went round and round in circles, going over the same ground and we never seemed to progress a step towards healing.

And although I appreciated the time the volunteers gave to the group to help mothers like me, eventually I had enough. I didn’t want to sit still any longer, wallowing in my misery.  I wanted to move forward. I wanted once again to know joy and to smile.  To do this, I had to find some meaning in my son’s death.  I pondered: Did he live and die for nothing? And so was my pain worthless? Or could I make some sense of the whole situation?

In my search for an answer I found myself thinking about God’s plan for my life, acceptance and trust, the cross and the value of suffering. My baby died and I was suffering. Was this suffering of value? Could I accept it? Could I trust God was looking after me? And would God eventually lead me to healing?

Does anyone else feel the need to move forward towards healing? Are you pondering such questions as mine?

Please feel welcome to share your thoughts and my post, Finding Meaning in a Baby’s Death on my blog Sue Elvis Writes, where they are many other grief stories.

The Lord Our God is HOLY

Video

This morning while praying the Liturgy of the Hours, I came upon the third Psalm and thought I would share it with you, as the holiness of God’s presence struck me to the core of my heart. Something that I find very compelling is that we all seem to seek answers to prayer and God’s blessing but some of us are not willing to make the great sacrifice of obedience according to the laws of the Church. Some of us seem determined to walk our own path, isn’t this how the angel of light was thrown out of Heaven? Don’t we want and yearn to be with God in Heaven someday? Let us pray for one another that we may remain strong as we follow the teachings of the Church and the Laws of God, for He is HOLY and we also want to be holy.

Those of us that hold the laws of the Church in our hearts weep for those who will not follow the path of blessing and truth. Our Lord told Peter (our first Pope, in Matthew 16:18), “And I say to thee: That thou art Peter; and upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it”. It’s not an easy undertaking to always be obedient but this is where GRACE will flow if you follow this path of TRUTH, this is why Our Lord gave us the Universal (Catholic) Church, why is it so difficult for some to understand? This is a great mercy that God gives us, HE is holy and don’t we also want to be holy in HIS everlasting presence? Let us walk together in this TRUTH, let us walk with HIM and the CHURCH we have been given! For He is HOLY….



Psalm 99
Holy is the Lord our God
Christ, higher than the Cherubim, when
you took our lowly nature you transformed
our sinful world (Saint Athanasius).

The Lord is king; the peoples tremble.
He is throned on the cherubim; the earth quakes.
The Lord is great in Zion.

He is supreme over all the peoples.
Let them praise his name, so terrible and great,
he is holy, full of power.

You are a king who loves what is right;
you have established equity, justice and right;
you have established them in Jacob.

Exalt the Lord our God;
bow down before Zion, his footstool.
He the Lord is holy.

Among his priests were Aaron and Moses,
among those who invoked his name was Samuel.
They invoked the Lord and he answered.

To them he spoke in the pillar of cloud.
They did his will; they kept the law,
which he, the Lord, had given.

O Lord our God, you answered them.
For them you were a God who forgives;
yet you punished their offenses.

Exalt the Lord our God;
bow down before his holy mountain
for the Lord our God is holy.