I Will Praise Thee Forever and Ever

My son Thomas died when he was one day old. That was nearly thirteen years ago. We’d have been celebrating his first teenage birthday this November. A teenager? We don’t really think of him as being that age. Somehow in our imaginations, he hasn’t grown up.

When I think of Thomas, I imagine him as I last saw him. He is a beautiful, precious, newborn baby with wispy hair and tiny fingers.

I wonder what Thomas would have looked like had he lived. One day I will meet him again in heaven. Will I recognise him?

When I return to my pew after receiving Holy Communion, I always whisper the Anima Christi to Jesus:

Soul of Christ, sanctify me.

Body of Christ, save me.

Blood of Christ, inebriate me.

Water from the side of Christ, wash me.

Passion of Christ, strengthen me.

O good Jesus, hear me.

Within Thy words, hide me.

Never permit me to be separated from Thee.

From the evil enemy, defend me…

As I come to the end of the prayer, I also spend a moment thinking about Thomas…

At the hour of my death call me;

And bid me come to Thee,

So that with Thy saints,

I may praise Thee forever and ever.


I imagine Thomas waiting with Jesus to welcome me into heaven. Thomas is all grown up. He is a handsome young man. I worry we won’t recognise each other but then he says, “I love you, Mum!”

And I know that all the pain, the grief and the suffering are finally over. I am with Thomas and I am with Love.

And yes, with Thomas and all Thy saints, I will praise Thee forever and ever… Amen.

Please share more of my grief posts at my blog Sue Elvis Writes


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