I ponder why joy is the struggle.

It is truly difficult to grasp…

amongst depression,

exhaustion,

acedia…

a daily battle to be fought.

Yet it is right within grasp…

within me.

I seek the joy, the satisfaction…in created things,

but because I stop and rest in them,

not raising my heart to You, the Creator,

my joy is short-lived…gone.

I am left empty…desolate.

When will I realize,

comprehend,

understand,

that You alone can satisfy…

fill the emptiness to overflowing.

That there is a tranquil joy

not of this world,

that can only be experienced by resting in You.

By embracing your loving will

at each moment

with equanimity,

tranquility,

peace.

These are your gifts of joy.

Even when my soul is heavy…weighed down

…dry…doesn’t understand,

I can accept and offer even this as gift…

as sacrifice…

as reparation.

And in exchange

You give me only joy…

tranquil joy.

My soul, oh my soul…

let it rest only in You.

{Theresa lives out her vocation as wife, mother to four (and two in Heaven), Classical homeschooler, Secular Carmelite, and part-time ultrasonographer in Pennsylvania.  She shares her fumbling writings at my desert heart when the Spirit nudges her.}