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Dear Family & Friends,

We have sad and disappointing news. Yesterday, at the sonogram we found out that our baby has gone on already to be with the Lord. We are going through the grieving process but not without hope. “I tell you most solemnly, you will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will turn to joy. For I shall see you again, and your hearts will be full of joy, and that joy no one shall take from you.” (John 16:20)

I have a great rosary mediation book and in it is written, “We experience great sadness in life precisely because we forget things. Jesus institutes the Eucharist to make his love for us unforgettable….The Eucharist reminds us that we are possessed by God, and that Communion fills us with gladness and peace.” This is so true for me. When I remember that I belong to the Lord and that I can trust in His love and mercy, I find so much peace. I see Him again and my heart is filled with joy. When we have Him, truly we lack nothing!

And again, as we strive to reach heaven, our ultimate goal, these children we have lost on earth are just helping to direct our gaze onward. 🙂

We named the child Gerard. St. Gerard (1726 – 1755) is known as the patron saint of expectant mothers. I had just finished a novena to him on Tuesday. But the novena I did was not for expectant mothers. It was one to help you grow in virtue. I always added asking him to pray for the baby too. His dominant virtue was trusting in God’s Providence. The saint once remarked: “If anyone unable to bear the sufferings which God has sent him, calls on me for help…or if I hear of such a one, I will pray that God give him the grace of conformity with His holy Will.” He is doing this for us. And guess what! Today, 104 years ago, December 11, 1904, Gerard was canonized. I didn’t even know that until today. Isn’t that neat!

I did suffer some depression and a touch of despair last night as I couldn’t sleep. I knew it was only a passing moment for the Lord’s joy has always returned to me after such an experience. However, it did remind me to pray for all those who suffer from depression and despair with no hope. I believe it is unbearable. We must remember to pray for them and be ready to witness to the joy of the Lord at any moment to them. St. Gerard please pray for them.

Forgive me please for going on too much. But most of you should know me by now. You could have stopped reading awhile back. 🙂

Thank you again for all your prayers. They have definitely been effective, just not in the way we had hoped for, but in a way needed!

With love and affection,
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